Hod can you Deal with Difficult People without anxiety and fear? It is all about better understanding.
Have you ever had that awful sinking feeling whenever you've had to deal with a difficult person? Have you ever not wanted to go to work or avoided social occasions because a particular person was there? Difficult people and difficult conversations are a part of life; you cannot avoid them. What will help you is a set of skills that will reveal a new way to approach this very common problem.
Difficult people are usually difficult because they are different to us in some way. What this means is that we have less in common and we do not understand them. For example you may be a “get into it and have a go” kind of person and the person you are struggling with is holding back and not getting involved. The more you encourage or push the more they withdraw.
Perhaps you are a quiet listener and you are dealing with someone who seems to hog the limelight and the conversation. Maybe you are kind and gentle and are forced to deal with someone who is so blunt and pushy you cannot stand it.
Did you know that we are all different in how we see the world and how we come across? Despite the differences there are some patterns to how we behave and interact with others.
I’ve been working with people and teams for over 15 years now and have come to specialize in the very common world of miscommunication. I only work with people who want to improve communication or performance through better connections and understanding.
Over the years it has become very plain to me that all of us struggle from time to time with people. Either they confuse us, frustrate us and even scare us because they do things differently. When this happens the majority of people get upset, stressed and when this happens we can no longer communicate effectively.
To help you cope with this very common problem, it is essential to first begin to understand yourself and what makes you tick. I call this your Communication DNA. You can read more about that here
The best advice I can give in order to begin building this communication muscle for dealing with difficult people is;
Learn to understand yourself – then and only then will it become clear what makes you tick and what you struggle with, you will definitely find patterns ( eg, perhaps for you it's the talker, or the bossy person, or the clean freak or the avoider, we all have someone)
Learn how to manage your emotions – this is a biggie and I am currently putting an online course together on this so that you can learn this is that is something you want Master. Once our emotions get away fromus we all become awful communicators. Learning how to stay calm and in control base don your needs is critical.
Begin to understand others – again a key skill. Seriously once you realise that all of us behave they way we do because of who we are you will stop taking things personally. When you do not take things personally it becomes so much EASIER. Next time you deal with a difficult person you will find you can now handle it more effectively – “ it’s not me it is just how they do things, no what can I do to help this conversation…”
Now I am a natural problem solver, so if your are really struggling with someone then why not download our free handbook on How to Deal with Difficult people. If you haven’t already you can access it here
We also have an online course that is specifically designed for this reason. This course is designed to help you understand the needs of others and how to best deal with people in difficult situations and circumstances. Most often difficult people are just different from you. Learn what works and what doesn't work for each of the different Communication DNA styles.
If you want to know;
- What makes certain styles difficult,
- How to best deal with difficult people,
- Ways to communicate so that you can best get your message across,
- Learn how to best communicate with different communication styles,
- Learn helpful ways to manage stress and emotions
Then this course is for you. Want to know more?
You don't need to struggle any more, you are not alone, some simple steps can make all the difference. I’ve been where you are and I’m here to support you in making the changes you need to create the life and the relationships you have always wanted.
Until next time, care, connect and be a Courageous Communicator.
Let’s improve the world we live in one conversation at a time.